Counting the Cost

May 6, 2008

 On Sunday I was out to lunch at a friends place after lunch. The conversation turned to counting the cost of things when you are making a life choice ie who you are going to marry.My girlfriend shared how she knew she was marrying a non dancer, but was getting a good guy so she could give up on of her loves for it. It got me thinking that even on this weight loss journey I will have to count the cost. Give up things to get to my goal and I am ready for the cost…My bad health has cost me so far:

  • the inability to really run and play with my daughter
  • me feeling fat and very unattractive- I think of myself as well below average
  • my legs sticking together when wearing a skirt
  • bad breath from a lousy diet
  • feeling tired after a mild workout
  • not feeling like cooking
  • laziness
  • relationships are people are not attracted to me
  • money ( fat people earn less-proven)

What will this process cost me?

  • time for meal planning, cooking and exercise
  • discipline
  • not being able to eat favorite junk foods
  • hard work
  • commitment
  • accountability

I think for me the costs are going to be so worth it when I measure it against what I will lose if I say in this rut.


    Checking In

    May 4, 2008

    Well I have been at it for a week now and it is time to be accountable..

    Highs this week- committing to both the 5k Underwear Walk/Run in August and the half marathon in  October.

    Lows- reaching for my comforts chocolate chip and diet coke when facing a rough day.

    Weight Lost- 11 pounds and 7 inches…………

    So that is the first week done!

    Emotional Eating

    May 2, 2008

    What a week to start a plan! I must be a bit nuts but to be healthy is a WANT, dream and desire of mine! One of the biggest things that stops me in my tracks is emotional eating. That is what happened after my divorce. I got my weight down in the first year ( down to my personal adult low of 170) and then the emotions of solo parenting a special needs child got the best of me and look what it got me a 91 pound weight gain in  8.5 years. Prayerfully it wont take that long to get it off!

    For me I turned to food as my comfort as I dealt with all life throws at you. I remember after my dad died all I did was eat, it was my comfort. I would repeat this time and time again after the fire, after grams death, after job losses, when my heart got broken, in dealing with spiritual questions, it was food that became my best friend, my lover and my comfort. So how am I breaking this cycle?

    Well this week was a high stress one: My mom has been sick since January and well getting her better may not happen, as she sees specialists and the like I look at her weight( we weigh the same) and the toll it has taken on her health-it stresses me and was a major catalyst for this change in me. This week was about finalizing details for our trip East to see her this summer. This is our first trip in all of my daughter’s life. Then it was a hard week for my daughter at school. I got two calls from the principal this week, about behavior so that adds to the stress. Then to add the icing on the cake I have been worried about a friend who is going through some major stuff. So yes a stress filled week….now normally this would send me reaching for soda pop, and other junk…so what did I do this week??

    First I slipped and did reach for a can of diet coke not a 2L, and a cookie (not a bag). But I also reached out and talked about it and forgave myself for the slip and got right back on track. I also came up with a plan.

    So here are the tools I will use to deal with the emotions of life:

    • journal it in my nice leather journal
    • go take a long hot bath
    • call a friend and talk
    • PRAY
    • do my nails
    • read
    • go for a walk

    If you can think of other things for me to do please do leave it in my comments as this list is a work in progress.

    Starting the Day Off Right

    April 28, 2008

    For me habits stay forever, the good ones and the bad ones too. The bad ones are hard to get rid of.

    One of my worst habits has been a 30 year addiction to Diet Coke. Think all that carbonation and chemicals I chose to put into my body. It started innocent enough with me drinking it to stay awake to do homework in high school. Well that habit became a 2L a day habit. I needed it to function. Breaking this habit has been a big challenge. I have drastically lowered my intake but it has not been totally gone, as I get ready to precleanse I am going off Diet Coke and processed junk…so I am starting today off right without my typical half glass of Diet Coke.

    Working exersice into my day has also been a challenge but I am getting there. I get up at 6am now and go for a 20 minute walk/run. By starting the day off right I feel better about myself. When it is rainy like today here I am sticking in an exersice dvd that I have in the house. My goal is to work up a sweat. Sweat is a good thing.

    So here I am really beginning with good morning habits as I begin this melting process, may you see less of me to see the real me.

    Well time for my first shake( I am having the chocolate Isagenix shake for breakfast- I rather like its nutty flavor).

    About to Melt Before Your Eyes

    April 28, 2008

     I am Hollie, solo parent, Canuck, and I am melting…that is right I am on a journey to find a healthy body that lies deep within me. You see since I was 13 I have been the fat girl. So here I am,forty three, thirty years later on a journey to find that healthy me that I know is within. I have tried lots of diets along the way: Weight Watchers, South Beach, The Rice Diet, etc and some helped me lose for awhile but never for the long term. There is hard work ahead.  I have decided after testing the Isagenix program to really try it. So I have taken the plunge and got the 30 day supply to start me off so lets see how I do…watch me melt.

    • Fact one: 43 years old
    • Fact two: 261.5 pds
    • Fact three : BMI 39.8

    Along with the Isagenix program I will be exercising each day. For me this has already begun with an early morning walk. I want to work that up to a run. I want to do the Toronto 1/2 Marathon in October. I am setting the goal.

    So please leave comments and encourage me with how you have melted perhaps or just how you stay healthy.